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Monday, May 6, 2013

So What if I do?

Mr. C got home last night from his trip to see the family and celebrate his aunt's 80th birthday.  He texted me when he got on the blue van, so I sent him a link to my last blog post.  When he got home, I asked if he read it, and he said, "Yeah.  It sounds like you spend all day talking to dead people."  It really isn't the typical feedback that I get from my readers (whom are mostly friends and family), so I took a minute to think about it.  I do spend more time talking to the dead, the dying, and their families more than I talk to people who aren't going through the process of dealing with loss.  Maybe it's odd to someone not associated with a hospice or some type of spirituality that talking to disincarnate beings is the norm.  All I can say for myself is, "So what if I do?"  

Sometimes I have intuitive insights to share with patients and families.  Many times, it is as if the angels are saying to the patients, "Don't be afraid."  Every instance of angelic appearances in the Bible, it seems that the angels preface their message with a command not to be afraid.  They deliver messages of hope, peace, and comfort while reminding us that they're here to help us through life.  I'm also reminded of the 'great cloud of witnesses' that the Bible talks about in the book of Hebrews.  I had an impression that they were spectators, just as we might be at a ball game.  However, what if those 'witnesses' are here to give us help and hope?  It's like my grandma letting me know she's safe and happy.  That makes me feel better.  What if I can talk to her like I did before she got sick?  That gives me hope.  What if I can get a different perspective on things because I talk to God, angels, and Grandma?  That is always helpful no matter the circumstance.  Maybe it will even help me to make better decisions.  He says that it sounds as if I spend all day talking to dead people.  I say, "So what if I do?"

Sunday, May 5, 2013


When I began this blog in 2011, it was primarily to express ideas and to let the world (ok, maybe not the world, but certainly my friends and family) know the latest and greatest in my world.  I quit my job at the hospital, and I packed up and went to Europe, hoping never to return for more than a vacation.  It was a great adventure, but I did come home.  I returned to work as a registered nurse when my life was completely upset by a nearly fatal car wreck.  Since the wreck and my return to nursing, it seems that I am guided to work to do my part to heal the world (again, maybe not the entire planet, but certainly those who come across my path).   In keeping with that call, I finished my Reiki training and have added Quantum touch to the healing modalities I use.  In my job as a hospice nurse, I feel comfortable asking my patients if they would like some energy work or healing prayer.  It is much easier to be who I am and to do what I am supposed to do in this role.  I don't have to deal with doing things that I don't believe in or that I think are not in my patient's best interest.  I love my job!  I love my patients!!

Many times, I have said to people that the wreck and the out of body experience I had changed my perspective.  It is still changing my perspective.  Being in this body and experiencing things from this limited view reminds me of reading a stream of consciousness novel.  That's mostly how we live.  From time to time, we have insights about the perspective of others or realize that we don't understand the whole picture, but mostly we stay in our human 'box,' and wonder why things are the way they are and complain about what seems to be unfair.  Not that I have an answer for everything, but most of the time in my life, when I think something is unfair, it really isn't.  My vision is just too small.

When my grandma died in February, grief hit me like a ton of bricks.  I wasn't expecting to feel all that pain.  After all, my grandma was nearly 95 and ready to go.  Who was I to wish her to stay in her feeble body?  Nonetheless, I felt the same way I did going through my divorce.  When she died, it was as if someone ripped out part of my soul as well.  I didn't realize how much she was part of me and I her until she passed.  Now that a couple of months have passed, my heart has caught up with my head. It was her time to go.  She came to me and told me how good she feels not being in that same old body and that she's so happy to be dead she can't explain it.  Knowing that she feels happy and free helped me through my grief.  Knowing that I can still feel her presence and talk to her gives me comfort.  Knowing that she is still part of me and that I'm part of her gives me peace and makes me happy.  She is an amazing being.

The other part of this is that as I visit my dying patients and their families, I say lots of things to them hoping that it helps during their difficult times.  I came to realize that I really do believe all the things I say.  They helped (and are helping) me with my loss.  I hope that they help others as well.

1.  Everyone who is born will pass away.
2.  Dying here means that we're being born in heaven.
3.  Death is release from pain.  It is healing.
4.  Dying a natural death is much more humane than dying in a hospital on life support.
5.  Dying is as much a part of life as being born.
6.  Dying a peaceful death is a beautiful, spiritual event.