One of the dear crones in my life told me one day not to forget my family. She meant for me to stay in touch with my holistic fair people and my church choir people. She was disappointed to hear that I had not gone to New York at the last opportunity I had, and she and my other vendor friends had been missing me at the fair.
Honestly, I have less than zero interest in going to church every Sunday morning and having someone tell me what the bible says. (Why would this dear friend encourage such, as I know she prefers to stay home to watch Joel Osteen when she wants some church in her life?) I know what it says. I've actually read the whole bible for myself many times. I wasn't excited at her words to me, encouraging me to participate in choir. Around that same time, I had been to a funeral where I saw several people I knew and met a few that I hadn't known. They were shocked to learn that I hadn't been singing and invited me to come and sing with them again. It made me wonder what I have to say that the church would want to hear. When I was a church going, bible thumping person, it seemed that no one cared what I had to offer. There was always more politics than praise happening at any given point.
However, there was tonight. I was on my way home from my last stop. I had been near the big church with the big choir that travels to fun places that make you never want to come home. I was having a moment of inexplicable intuition that told me to go back and go to choir practice. So, I did. I had previously been truthful with the director about wanting to sing but having no interest in going to church on Sundays. Tonight, I was able to share the same thoughts again about my church feelings with another of this staff, and was welcomed back again by my old friends. It is a glorious feeling to be as honest as I have been with those in charge of this choir and to hear the words again, "You are always welcome here." Right now, I plan to sing for Christmas and for this Sunday. The Randall Thompson Alleluia is more beautiful than my wish to stay away.